I Smell Like a Cow......

I don't know about your house, but at my house there are sea monkeys that get songs stuck in their sweet little heads. When that happens, of course they are kind enough to sing it over and over and over, well you get the point.

Courtesy of the Wild Child, the song of the day is Hungry Like the Wolf, by Duran Duran. The lyrics however, will be sung like this. "I smell cow, I'm lost and found and coming after shoes. I smell like a cow, I'm lost and I'm found and I'm hungry like the Wolf".

No need to thank the Wild Child for these new lyrics that will no doubt be stuck the same way in your head. I am sure given a few more days, she will find something to replace it.

We meet again....

Based on how I feel today, I am pretty sure there in nothing cooking in my oven. Well other than a toxic combination of hormones resembling a raging case of PMS. No matter how this month turned out, I was going to be happy and sad. Happy to have more time to improve my health and possibly have a quick family vacation to the Happiest Place on Earth. Sad that, once again, I have failed to figure out how to get pregnant. Sometimes I wonder if it's more about the failing and less about being pregnant. Then I realize there is some part of me that feels gypped to not have experienced this uniquely female adventure.

Those of you who know me well, know that I lean towards the natural side of medicine. There is a long list of reasons why, but I am not going to get into that today and not likely here anyway. A little disclaimer here though, I am not anti-modern medicine. I believe it has its place and does a lot of good. Back to the topic at hand. I am working on the natural route first. This being because the Rocket Scientist is looking for new employment and we all know how medical insurance can change drastically from one employer to another. So, natural is a good place to start. I have been reading a few books and doing some research. It is believed that I have PCOS. To my understanding the only way to confirm this is with actual pictures of cysts on ovaries. I believe I have enough symptoms that I am just going to assume that is part of the problem.

So, I have been reading about Qi and herbs and the evils of microwave ovens. Seriously....sometimes I wonder if people honestly can do what they write. I am just sayin'. All that said, I think I will try a total body cleanse this coming week, walking for an hour everyday and buying organic as much as possible. That is about as much as I am willing to commit to this week. I still plan to use my microwave to reheat leftovers and use my shower with out a water filter and only sleeping 7 hours at night. (I just haven't figured out how to get one more hour in.)

In the past few days, I have also learned that there are some medications that may be interfering with the goal at hand. So that will need to be addressed.

I'm wondering, for those of you who have struggled with getting pregnant, did it consume your thoughts? It is absurd to me that it is the first thing on my mind in the morning, the thing I dream about, the thing all conversations lead to......? Really, I wouldn't mind thinking about something else.

Thank you.

I have been wracking my brain to come up with a clever way to say, "thank you" and that my friend, "Red", rocks!!! Sad to say, I have nothing. Red found the missing hearing aid and relief can be felt for miles around us. Thank you for your prayers. They are much appreciated.

HELLLOOO, where were you made and other randomness?

The other morning while I was straightening the Wild Child's hair, I notice that she continually is admiring herself in the mirror. I reflect back to when she was a baby and people would stop me and tell me she was the most beautiful baby they had ever seen. In fact her dad, the Rocket Scientist, has mentioned from time to time that her beautiful china doll face never leads one to believe how calculating and feral she really is. Suddenly the Wild Child makes eye contact with me in the mirror and says, "Mom, it looks like I am made in China.."When we load in the mini-van to take the kids anywhere, I holler, "Seat belt check." If the Sea Monkeys have their seat belts on, they holler back, "CHECK." This has been working really well, since then I don't have to question them one-by-one to see who has their seat belts on and who we are waiting for. Yesterday morning, I forget to yell "Seat belt check." The Little Jamaican was not having a change in the routine. She starts yelling, "Check!", from the back of the mini-van and continues to yell it at me until I acknowledge that she has her seat belt on AND say, "Seat belt check." This is when I realize that the 1st One is growing up. "Little Jamaican, the seat belt check is getting really old.", I hear her say. She speaks of it as if it is a catch phrase uttered way past it's time. Next thing you know, I will be embarrassing her with out trying. Oh.....wait, I already do that. She was mortified when I forgot to put on a certain piece of support wear to drive her to school last week. She told me to zip up my coat so no would notice. She kept reminding me that I didn't need to get out of the car. Like I wanted to....It was 24 F.

The Little Jamaican wanted to go out and jump on the trampoline. I am fine with that, I just wanted her to put some clothes on since she was wearing her a "cheerleader" skirt and shirt. When I reminded her she needed on something more than she was wearing, she responded with, "HEEELLLLLOOOOO, Why do you think I am wearing this?" Ya, I'm not sure this is the tone I want to hear from my 5 year old. "Heeellllooooo, it's below freezing out there. Put on your snow pants and a coat." Oh, wait, that isn't actually teaching her to speak respectfully. "Hey, I was thinking that maybe you would put on your snow pants and a coat."
In the past few months, we discovered that My Son has some permanent hearing loss. It is suspect that it is congenital. Strangely, this bit of information brought a thrill of excitement around here. Truly a blessing to find something that, when corrected, would make a huge difference for him. The day he got his hearing aids, his voice level was half as loud. You could see that he was hearing some things for the first time. There was much joy and celebration in our home. The only down side to all of that is.......he is a little boy.......which in this case, translates to one of them is already missing. At $1250.00 a piece used, they are not easy or economical to replace. We have torn the house apart looking for it, scoured the school, harrassed the local library and friends, and actually cleaned out the dumpster on wheels (a.k.a. mini-van). Amazing how in a short period of time there are so many variables of where that missing hearing aid could be. Anyway, if you all wouldn't mind, say a little prayer for the wayward hearing aide to show up. Thank you.

Misread....

I first have to say thank you to you all for your words of encouragement. It means more to me than I am able to express.

I was under the impression that the Rocket Scientist was on the same page as me. Now I am wondering how I could have mistaken being male with being on board. I have a cold. It isn't horrid, but it's not comfortable and well I did manage to ovulate all on my own this month. Naturally, we "tried" to get "knocked up." This brings me to, I want to take some medicine for this said cold, but won't risk it on the off chance we actually succeeded. We won't really know for about another week. I am really not counting on succeeding already, but I am not willing to play "Russian Roulette" either. So I am lamenting this dilemma to the Rocket Scientist, which really isn't a dilemma, I already know I am not going to take anything. I just wanted someone to agree with me. Being that he is a "Rocket Scientist" and not a "Woman Scientist" and certainly not an "engineer," this is what he says to me. "Or you can quit trying to get pregnant." (You know I had finally quit being mad 'til I just typed it. ARGH!) Clearly, I mis-read his cooperation in this little exercise.

As my editor was "editing," he mentions that I took the quote out of context. He said he was merely pointing out that everything is a trade off. (My poor keyboard was taking some abuse.) I'll let him off the hook this time.......next time though, I would remind you that you are dealing with a woman with fluctuating hormones. There is no telling how I will take such obvious, logical information.

I love you, RS. Always.....

Things to come.....

I really am struggling to keep my blog up these days. I have thoughts that I want to put there, yet, there is some fear about doing that. You see when I speak, I rarely have time to think through whether or not I am going to offend someone, but when I write.....well I have way too much time to over think it. Speaking of which, if I have offended you, I am sorry. It was never my intent.

I turned 38 recently and I am re-examining my life. I think that is common for mid-life. So maybe this is part of MY mid-life crisis. I am forming new opinions on things rapidly and changing my perspective on things I have only seen one way for decades. Knowing all this also makes me reluctant to put it all out there. If I were naturally funny, it would be easier. However, I am not. The things that happen around me are what is funny in my life. (My sense of humor is intact.)

So I have decided that without a doubt, I am going to try and have a biological child. Here is where the wording is going to get tricky.......I am not attached to the outcome. It is the trying, err...the effort,......eh.......where is the right word........that I am attached to. (You see what I am saying?) Yes, I want more children, but they don't have to be biological. I have never NEEDED them to be biological. So I am sure you are now asking why would I try for a biological child then. As it turns out, I am not a fan of regret. Nope.....not a fan at all. I am worried that when I am 80 I will look back and REGRET not trying or giving it an honest, no holds barred, try to get pregnant.

So here's the thing, I really would like to blog about this. It is going to be tricky. It is such an emotional, tricky, personal subject, but I want a record of it, and I think it couldn't hurt to have a few outside glimpses of what I am embarking on. So, I will try to be respectful and pleasant and all I ask is please try not to judge me for the wacky thoughts I have or the things I try.

So here is where I am starting. I have recently lost about 30 pounds. It is a good start, but another 50 to 70 would be helpful I am certain. In the mean time I have been reading a few books on the subject. Let's just say that I have been learning things about the female body and the way it works that no one, and I really mean no one, should have to know. One of the authors opinions was that one way, out of about a million, to improve your fertility is to never leave the house with wet hair and always wear a hat when it's cold outside. This should be interesting.......