Toilet Only Family

You all know about how the Olympic sport went at our house, right? Well, that has had some ramifications I was not expecting. A few days ago, the Rocket Scientist steps out into the backyard to call the Wild Child and the Little Jamaican in for dinner. He finds two little girls who are butt naked. Yes, just from the waste down. So, we have a brief talk about why we don't take our clothes off outside. So, dumbly, I'm thinking problem fixed. That is until I walk into the back yard the other day to find the Little Jamaican "squatting" on the lawn so to say. She argues that it is OK since the dogs do it and so does My Son. Yeah.......that's the kind of logic I'm getting from a 4 year old. I might be in trouble there.
Because of this particular situation, I have been trying to convince My Son that he needs to come in the house to go "potty." Friday morning all the Sea Monkeys were up really early. Like, I wasn't out to bed yet, early. So like any good mom of young children, I start to tell everyone to go "potty." As I am laying bed I can hear someone relieving themselves in the bathroom down the hall. Somehow it sort of sounds like My Son, but not quite right. A few minutes later I walk down the hall, because the 1st One is claiming that the floor is wet outside the laundry room. Now I'm thinking something has gone wrong with the washing machine and it must have flooded. I'm starting to worry about water damage until I see the wet floor. Clearly, someone with male plumbing has used my carpet like he uses the grass in the back yard. I know that there are dad's out there who think that it is all cool to use the back yard as a loo, but not for this house. Nope............we apparently don't clearly see the difference between grass and carpet. We are a toilet only family.