Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Blogging, Under the Influence.....

I had surgery and as I was getting my discharge orders today they told me not to drive, make big decisions or operate heavy machinery. They said nothing about blogging, but maybe they should have.

You see, the procedure I had done today is one that is not usually discussed in mixed company, but somethings you just need to purge and get it out of your system and blame it on the drugs. So I have had some female problems for about a year and it was time to "fix" the problem. It required some "taking-a-look" and "cleaning up" so to say.

I was supposed to do this at the end of month, but my body insisted that I do it right away or risk becoming anemic at a rapid pace. So yesterday after a few calls, my really cool Doctor hooked me up today.

Now, yesterday when I went in for my pre-op appointment my doctor had lost his voice. Laryngitis if you will. Listening to him whisper to everyone was cracking me up. Not that losing your voice is funny, but the thoughts associated with that in my head were. So when I meet with the doc before surgery today, his voice is slightly worse than the day before. Thus, giving my brain more comedy, though not really appropriate comedy. I was all good about keeping it to myself until the anesthesiologist gave me some really good stuff in my IV. (Seriously, I get how people could get addicted to some things. Oh the relief of the worry.) Anyway, so after the good stuff, I couldn't keep it to myself. So you all have heard of the Horse Whisperer and the Dog Whisperer right? You know where this is going right. Yes, I did...... I called him the "Va..na Whisperer". Apparently, I was telling everyone and anyone. And anyone I didn't tell, the other surgical staff did.

So, yes, this gets back to said really cool Doctor. When he meets with the Rocket Scientist while I am in recovery, he whispers, "Did you know she is calling me the Va..na Whisperer?" Of course he is laughing. The RS really laughs and says that he does know that. The doc then asks if that means he can make non-compliant va..na's compliant. Ya.....and I get to look this guy in the eye in two weeks for my post-op. Do you think it's too late to suck all of that back in my head?

15 comments:

Kara Thacker said...

You crack me up!!! If it makes you feel any better mine would ask me if I was having a kid with outdoor or indoor plumbing. Love you!!!

Nicole said...

um, yea...I don't even know what to say to that. I guess I'll just say feel better soon. :)

Krista said...

I bet your doctor is glad he isn't a proctologist! Especially when some people whisper back! Stop me now...so inappropriate!

cat said...

Oh you have just made my day! Hysterical! We call my gynea "Dr. Barbie" because she is blonde, very thin and pretty and looks a lot like, yes Barbie. After the twins' birth I was on a mix of pethadine and atterax because of some transfered pain and yes, I adressed her as Dr. Barbie. And guess what? She cracked up laughing!

Jen said...

Now that is funny! I hope that you are recovering quickly.

Stacy said...

I am home sick today and I needed a good laugh!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Oh my gosh! This has to be one of the funniest posts I have ever read. I have to tell people about it.

carrielt said...

OHMYGOSH that is so funny! I hope you get to feeling better.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Oh my gosh! I was totally cracking up...you completely made my day too.

The va..na whisperer: b/c he whispers (laryngitis) and b/c he makes non-compliant v's compliant.

Hook me up with some of that "good stuff."

The Antiques Diva™ said...

Oh the things we say when under the influence!!! That's funny! Get well soon by the way!

orangemily said...

Oh, the thoughts in your head!

Nancy said...

Oh I had no idea you were having surgery. I hope you feel fine!! But that made me laugh so hard. I remember waking up after getting my wisdom teeth out. All I could do was cry and cry because I was so tired I couldn't talk and couldn't understand why they'd wake me up. Everyone kept asking if i was in pain and all I could mumble was "no" as I cried and cried. Then I think I saw a buffalo on the side of the road. Abesthesia is grooovy.

American in Norway said...

DO you want me to lie & make you feel better? Um... sure, you can take it all back... or even better... I am sure he won't remember... EEK... Funny though!

Wep said...

OMG I love it.

Anonymous said...

я вот что скажу: восхитительно!! а82ч