Oh to be a fictional character. Rhea over at http://texaswordtangle.blogspot.com/ got me thinking about just that. It would seem her son has some ideas about his name. As is turns out, my son has some ideas about his own as well. If I hadn't mentioned it, my Son is developmentally delayed and though he will be 7 in a few weeks, he really seems more like 4ish. His favorite movies ever are the Shrek movies. His favorite Character is Puss-n-boots. So much so, that he insists we call him "Puss-n-boots." He now refers to his Dad as "Ogre" and occasionally calls me "Biona."
Being that it is 2:48 AM and I should be sleeping. I want to be sleeping but I'm not. I have wondered if it is Paranoia or OCD keeping me awake. If you read my previous post you know that we have had a few unwelcome visitors. It seemed like every night was "2nd verse, same as the 1st." They 1st Child and the Wild Child would be crying and carrying on about bugs until they would pass out cold. So being a mom that treasures what sanity she still has claim on, I have been religiously looking for ways to free myself from these little demons we call earwigs.
I have cleaned. I have weeded. I have sprayed insecticide in window sills. I have chased the little brats down with tissue to squish and send to a swirling, watery grave. I completely dusted the foundation of my home with http://www.ghorganics.com/DiatomaceousEarth.html. If this doesn't work, I have more information in my arsenal that I am not afraid to use.
The worst part is, I start to fall asleep only to see earwigs in my sleep. Alarmed I wake up ready for battle. Or there is the half awake, half asleep slumber where I could swear I feel one crawl down my back or across my face. This is when I can't decide if I really believe that they are everywhere, trying to take over my world or if I am so focused on the task at hand that I have to kill all earwigs, including the made up few in my head.
So this brings me back to the first topic. If I were a fictional character, I would choose to be:
I could wave my magic wand and turn all those little earwigs into little elves that would do my dishes and laundry, maybe even clean my house. Or maybe I would choose to be Fiona. She would probably find them to be a tasty little snack, like high end chocolate. She certainly wouldn't mind a few million earwigs crawling around her house.